Mental Health Awareness: the reality.

I've wanted to write for a while on something I feel strongly about.What I want to talk about is the value of authenticity in our awareness and indeed our experience of mental health issues.

Statistics say 1 in 4 of us suffers from mental health conditions, but of course a huge number of individuals don’t go forward for professional help and thus are left out of the statistics. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that EVERYBODY struggles at some point, mentally and emotionally, because we are all thinking and feeling human beings in a fragile and imperfect world. Who of us can say we've not been physically ill before? Since our brain controls our entire nervous system, indeed everything we do, it makes sense that we should be prone, as human beings, to suffer at least the occasional mental blip.

I believe we are at large moving in the right direction in terms of abolishing the stigma surrounding mental health. But I think, like anything in life, there are some associated dangers. What I am specifically alluding to is that it is too easy to become so familiar and comfortable with our mental health conditions that we allow them to become our whole identity. To ‘become’ our illnesses is to escape the ability to live a life that is not entirely centred on them. It is to take away our capacity for freedom.

I see the term ‘pro-recovery’ used so frequently on social media and it is so positive to see people breaking free from things that have left them in chains in the past and supporting others to do the same. But how often is it just a case of using the right lingo and staying in that perhaps comfortable but unhealthy place of being a Mental Health Sufferer by title, and how often are we genuinely, authentically on that path to living a life where our mental health is as healthy as it can be.

Without this authentic awareness, we are not stigma fighting at all. I've heard so many inaccurate assumptions of mental health conditions recently from people whose main exposure to illnesses like depression, anxiety and eating disorders is through the new wave of ‘support communities’ on Instagram or Twitter. It is so easy to get caught up in the addictive hype of these websites that encourage us to focus on how many ‘likes’ and ‘followers’ you can get. Frankly, posts with intense anguish, poetic wording and a bit of moody lighting are far more popular than those celebrating a positive step in recovery or presenting a frank depiction of how incredibly tough living with mental illness can be.

So yes awareness is incredibly important but without the right intentions, this can be harmful and also counter-productive. My hope is that as organisations such as ‘Mind’ continue to fight for Mental Health Awareness and more people start to be open about their own struggles, we would feel more able and confident to present our sufferings in an authentic light, knowing we are not alone in what we are going through. Even if that authenticity doesn't get you a thousand likes on social media, it’s guaranteed to be a hell of a lot more helpful for both yourself and anyone else reading it!

We're all a little crazy...

Anxiety appears to come from nowhere and creeps up on you, rising uncomfortably until you’re dizzy and faint. It wakes you up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, adding irrational thoughts to your already worried mind. Although it is derived from our instinctive reaction to stress or danger, it can make you feel utterly insane.

Anxiety is horrific. But actually, it is incredibly common. More than 1 in 10 people are likely to have a ‘disabling anxiety disorder’ at some stage in their life (1). Acknowledging this reality is important for a number of reasons.

Amongst the terrifying thoughts that accompany anxiety are that of feeling you are losing your sanity; that no one would understand how you are feeling as you are not ‘normal’. Of course this in turn heightens your anxiety. It is a vicious circle. The reality is that so many people have experienced what you are going through. When I was in the grips of severe anxiety, discovering that what I was experiencing was incredibly common and I wasn’t in fact strange and insane, was a huge relief.

On the flip side of this, it can be incredibly isolating hearing others freely talk of their struggles whilst you feel unable to do the same. The most recent Psychiatric Morbidity Survey indicates that just 25% of those with a common mental health problem are currently receiving treatment for it (1). Acknowledging just how common these struggles are can give us the confidence to share our journey whilst being sensitive to the fact that others may be suffering similar things. It eliminates so-called ‘us and them’ thinking, which can isolate people who are yet to get help.

As intense and terrifying as anxiety is, it’s important to remember that what we are feeling isn’t real. It is our mind irrationally predicting that negative events will happen in the future and over estimating the possibility of these disasters. It’s an apt demonstration of how we can easily lose track of things by ourselves. But there is relief; there are ways of training your mind such as CBT which is incredibly effective for anxiety, there are other people to help you keep perspective and there is faith.

For the last few months I have suffered from extreme anxiety; something I had rarely come across previously. Acknowledging that I am not alone in this helped immensely. Finally accepting how I am feeling rather than worrying further about this reality has been hugely beneficial. In all things, I find pursuing light, positivity and hope relentlessly is essential. Sometimes all we are able to do is hold on, knowing there will be a time when we’re no longer slaves to what we’re going through. Though I strongly believe in the power of both therapy and positive thinking, I would be lacking integrity if I didn’t admit that finding Jesus has been the only thing that keeps me truly rooted, even in the darkest of times.

1). Statistics taken from:

http://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/get-help-now/anxietyinformation/frequently-asked-questions/#sthash.TkGuhoAN.dpuf

Overcoming Fear 4: Interview with Katherine Mitchell

Q1: What effects has fear had on your life and how have you worked to overcome these?

 A: I think different forms of fear and self-doubt has always been present in my life, as it is in everyone’s. But only in the past few years had it completely taken over my life and drained me of everything I used to be. I’d like to say I had a surge of inner strength that lead me to fight those fears, but I didn’t; they were too strong, too all-consuming and too real. But I had so much support from family and friends, which was what forced me to confront my fears, and ultimately what carried me through.  

I was trapped in a place of fearing whatever would come next in my life, and being so lost I think actually helped me to fight fears. I had nothing left to lose; nowhere to go but up.
As I fought the fears moment-by-moment I gained strength and more and more of myself back. By facing up to fears and getting through, it made them easier to deal with the next time. Knowing that I’d been there before and got through, and that I’d get through again, I gained inner strength that kept growing; pushing out the fears until they no longer had a hold over me.

Q2: How do you view the concept of fear?

A: To me, fear is something deceptive- it being invisible but so overpoweringly real. That being said, when I think of fear, I tend to only think of irrational fears, because that is what has been predominant in my life so far; irrational, rather than rational fear.

I tend to view this irrational fear as something that’s held me back on so many levels. Fear creeps in following self-doubt and perpetuates itself until the cycle is broken.  I think it’s easy for people to see strength in others but we rarely see it in ourselves. It takes continually battling fear to gain the strength and self-belief to stop listening to fear. And it still holds me back a lot more than it should, and its easy to write about it now as an abstract concept, but harder to believe in that moment when it seems an integral part of who I am. For me its important to keep reminding myself of how many fears I have overcome; how real they felt, and how weightless they were in reality. This helps me a lot when difficulties come up that seem insurmountable. I remember everything in the past that seemed so impossible, but in reality, wasn’t. Battling your own demons and winning does make you feel pretty badass. It still doesn’t make it easy in the moment though, but I’m working on it.

Q3: You've achieved a lot in terms of overcoming fears in your own life, have you found this has enabled you to help others struggling with anxiety?

 A: My life is filled with really incredible people, many of which I met during the hardest and darkest parts of my life so far. I’m so thankful for everything that has happened, because it has made me a better person, and I have come to know some of the bravest and most inspiring people, and have been witness to their journeys.
Whilst it has always been important to me to have an emotionally supportive relationship with important people in my life, I had always been held back by fear, and not feeling confident or worthy enough to be completely open to those I love the most. To be able to say ‘this is me, this is how I feel’ always seemed impossible. A fear of acceptance maybe, or a fear of weakness, either way it had a really detrimental effect on my well-being as well as my relationships.
But, by being vulnerable and emotionally exposed around people, and then building such a strong relationship on the grounds of shared experiences, I came to realise that it’s okay to be defenceless; that there really is no other way to be, that it’s actually the only way to gain strength.

Now, by being able to say, “This is me, these are my insecurities and fears. And I trust you with these. I’m human and I’m flawed and that’s okay”, I have found it encourages others to be open with me, and this trust breaks the feelings of isolation that validate the fear. It gives me humility and strength, and (I hope) it gives others a place to come to for non-judgemental support when they need it most. I’ve been really blessed with the help I’ve had from people in my life, and to be someone who people can turn to in need, is I think, one of the most important things you can be. 

Overcoming Fear project: an update by Becky

At the start of the Lent period this year, I began a project with Hope in Zion centred on the idea of overcoming fear.

I had been suffering from anxiety and whilst this was and is a really tough time for me, I have been learning a lot from the experience. I hope that to share not only what I have learnt, but also the wisdom of a number of other people who have been no strangers to fear, will be of real value and support to those currently in the grips of anxiety or stress. I hope that it will also be of value to others though, because it seems all of our minds have a hard time of grasping the truth that fear really is a liar.

So far, we have heard from Barry, Chris, Lizzie and Molly. The wisdom gleaned from these four has been different yet equally valuable.

Barry spoke of how his training in the army taught him to take a rational, prepared and practical approach to tasks that could be fear inducing. He also spoke of how support from others is key in managing stress. He himself keeps low stress levels by keeping things in perspective and appreciating all the good he has around him.

Chris told us of his strongly held belief that we are made for community and thus interdependence enables us to manage anxiety and stress. He also told us how despite the mistakes the Church has made, his own faith and trust in God has been what holds him together so well in tough times.

Lizzie bravely spoke of how fear kept her from being the person she was created to be. Yet through accepting who she really is and being vulnerable with that with friends and family has allowed her to conquer her fears and be victorious over them.

Finally Molly told us how she has overcome much of her depression and anxiety that has troubled her for years through focusing her mind and time on something; for her this has been horse-riding and equine care. This enabled her to gain confidence, form good relationships with people and focus on the positives in her life.

After interviewing these four very different people, it is evident to me that a common feature of those who are successfully conquering fear, is that they took the step to accept the support and friendship of others. Obviously this hasn't been easy; take Lizzie’s fear of rejection of who she really is, yet when this step is taken, it seems fear is conquered. In my own experience I have found that fear thrives when it is safely hidden inside our own minds. Here it is away from the light; hidden away in deceptive darkness. The truth is that fear is a liar, and when our fears are brought out into the open in front of others, fear’s very realistic façade begins to fade away.

We still have plenty of interviewees left, who will be telling us in the coming weeks up until Easter of how they have conquered their own fears. They will be giving us tips and advice on how we can do the same.

I am honoured that these people have been so open and honest with me. It really is true that strength is found where there is vulnerability and integrity. Strength does not mean being free of struggle and there is absolutely no weakness in encountering adversity. It is easy to victimise ourselves in dark times, but as these people have demonstrated there is no victory in victimisation! Instead they have chosen to keep faith, hold on to hope and accept the support of other people.

I hope you enjoy the rest of the interviews and keep conquering fear!

If you have any wisdom you wish to share in regards to overcoming fear, please do get in touch as we’d love to hear from you: edenart@outlook.com.

Overcoming Fear 4: Interview with Molly Hallett

Q1: As someone who has suffered from depression and anxiety in the past, what fears did you have to deal with?

A: The fears that I especially had to deal with were during my early teen years, as I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression at the age of 14. They were being misunderstood and judged especially in Secondary School and in public spaces. This led me to leave School and begin self-studying at home and to miss out on socialising with people of my age. I gained weight and became very self-conscious with my appearance and being around people. I also gained a lot of horrible thoughts saying that I wasn’t good enough for this world or anyone and I had to listen to them on a daily basis.

Q2: How have you overcome these fears?

A: I overcame them in many ways, firstly by attending an Equine College and focusing my mind on increasing my knowledge of the care of horses, and I gained a friendship group. Secondly I started taking Horse riding lessons every week and gained confidence, lost weight and better control of my mind. My family have helped me a lot through the bad times and I can’t thank them enough.

Q3: Has studying Psychology changed the way you view anxiety?

A: Psychology is an amazing and complex subject and I would recommend anyone to study it. It has made me realize there are many different approaches and causes of anxiety for each individual and it has taught me many ways to deal with it. It’s not as simple as just worrying about something.

Q4: What tips would you give to someone struggling with depression and anxiety?

A: Always tell someone that you can go to for support or even to talk to. Find something you are interested in and put your whole mind to it, as it does help you in the long term. Use professional services to help you on the way in your journey of overcoming it. Always make a note of the positives that you have in your life, as life isn’t just about negatives.

Overcoming Fear 3: Interview with Lizzie King

Q1: What effects has fear had in your life?

A: Fear has stopped me from doing things that potentially would have been amazing experiences. Fear has stopped me from being who I was made to be and who I know that I am. Fear made me create another person to hide the real in deep inside. Fear made me feel alone, scared, torn, wrong and alienated.

Q2: How have you overcome these fears?

A: The day I looked in the mirror and saw the real me,that was the day, I overcame my biggest fear. I put all my trust in my friends and family to accept who I am. It was the right and best decision.

Q3: As a musician, how do you remain calm in nerve wracking situations?

A: As a musician, I get to express myself in a way that I feel most comfortable. I get nervous but as soon as I strum the first note on my guitar, or sing the first word and I see people engaging- they're letting me know, I've been accepted. All the fear and nerves just rush away. 

Overcoming Fear 2: Interview with Chris Painter.

Q1: You keep a really upbeat energy about you, despite having been through a fair bit of stress, what’s your secret?

A: I guess my secret to stress relief and staying calm in the face of adversity is to focus on as much good as I can in my life, relying on my friends and family and physically removing myself from as much of the stressful stuff as I can. Work can be a real stress for me because of many things, not least of which is my sexuality. The way I deal with this is by keeping friends close and removing myself from the village during my free time and filling my life with as many positive thoughts and memories made as I can. In this way the stress seems to dissipate and I can face the issues as they arise at work or elsewhere by tackling them when and where I can. I think it is also important to be realistic about what you can and can't do. My father for instance is very unwell and has been for some time and I fear for his health and how long he will be around. This is a constant stress on my life but I know I can do nothing to improve his health but I can be there for him and talk on the phone and fill whatever time we have with as much good stuff as possible, focusing on the progress he makes, however small. I don't believe we are designed as humans to live in isolation, we are designed for community; to help one another and this I guess is my secret, to let other people whom I trust into my life to help me when I am down.

Q2: How has your faith helped you stay strong?

A: My faith has kept me strong but I feel the 'church' has really damaged me if I am honest. Many times when I try to talk to church people about my stress they quote verses at me about not being troubled and Gods got it covered etc which really doesn't help, I want you to love me and support me, not to proselytise at me you know. My faith however remains strong and it is comforting to pray and meet with my Christian family. I know that God has it covered and I know that in the end it will be ok and I know that God truly does care for me, I just guess sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the fear. Without my faith I know I wouldn't be coping at all right now and I am thankful to God for every piece of progress and every day that passes and really take joy in successes, be that at work or elsewhere.

Q3: As a youth worker how do you go about helping young people struggling with anxiety?

A: As a youth worker I feel it is so important to be real with young people and to be honest and as open as possible with them about the struggles in your own life. It is so easy for young people to put youth workers on a perfect pedestal and forget that we are human too and have real struggles in our own lives. I do whatever I can on a one to one basis to help give perspective to problems and help young people create action plans over how to overcome their stress, be it exam related, partner problems or whatever else, there is always a way forward and sometimes it's about finding the next step and not worrying about the end goal but getting up and making the first step.